Kryptonite Biru

The year so far

2012-02-18T13:24:00.000+08:00

It's been a very good 2012 so far. Everything is good with my life. But I can't help feeling a little guilty to feel this good since a lot of my close friends are having problems of their own. I'm not gonna write anything about their problem here. It's not my place to tell the story.

Zombijaya is going for second print next week. I should thank Barisan Nasional for the book voucher (and I'm not being sarcastic here. Well, at least not THAT sarcastic). Next, my short story will be published in an anthology called Kopi which will be on sale next month. And there is another thing I'm doing right now that can't be revealed yet.

Personal life is good too but I'm not gonna write too in depth about it right now. Let's just say that Ed is not the only one with a hardcore gamer significant other. And I mean actual gamer who visit The Zone on regular basis. And I don't mean Angry Bird. Yeah, I met her through Twitter and yeah, it started with my book. So I guess I have to thank Sui-Jon for the awesome book cover.

Oh and remember the story about my friends with bad sense of direction? Apparently Mamu's sense of direction is so bad that he ended up in Bangsar while looking for Batu Tiga. And he was using GPS. Oh, and add Nedd the Wicked Witch to the list of people with bad sense of directions. One day, just for the hell of it, the cult is gonna put Nedd and Mamu in the same car, and tell them to go to some random location. Then we will bet among ourselves to see how long they are gonna take to get there (if ever). Oh, what cult, you say? That's a story for another time.

P.S. I haven't written anything at Blog Kencang for over a week but the other guys are still keeping up with the daily updates. Head over there if you haven't so you can say that you've been reading the blog ever since it's still ad-free.

The Gun And The Kitten

2012-01-11T21:32:00.001+08:00

So, I haven't written anything in a while. And this blog might go into a longer hiatus. Why? A bunch of my friends asked me to collaborate with them and lo and behold, i present to you Blog Kencang.

So there won't be anymore wrestling or MMA update on this blog. Which means that I have to change the tagline of the blog soon.

So why won't there be much update after this? Because I'll probably just reserve this blog for anything that is personal (and I don't about personal story that much).

Anyway, what with the title? I found someone and this little guy was my wingman:

"Look, I've dropped my pants, what else do you want?"

"Aku Kat Roundabout Shah Alam Ni"

2011-12-24T00:11:00.000+08:00

Ini adalah cerita mengenai rakan-rakan yang selalu sesat. Memang ada a beberapa member aku yang ada bad sense of directions. Ini adalah cerita mengenai empat orang yang the worst of the worst.

I - Peju

"Kau kat mana ni?"
"Entahlah. Aku kat roundabout Shah Alam ni."
"Kalau kat Shah Alam tu, roundabout lagi banyak daripada anjing. Jangan la cakap kau kat roundabout."

Peju ni orang pertama yang buat aku rasa nak korek biji mata aku sendiri bila dia cerita pasal dia sesat. 3-4 tahun duduk kat Kuching pun boleh sesat dalam Kuching tu. Rumah kat Shah Alam pun boleh sesat cari UiTM. Jalan straight je pun boleh tersesat entah ke mana-mana.

II - Jijol

OK, technically aku baru jumpa Jijol sekali je. Mamat ni sebenarnya member Syed dengan Zaki. Aku mula-mula pelik kenapa Syed dengan Zaki malas nak angkat call daripada Jijol masa dia nak datang join lepak. Last-last Syed angkat jugak.

"Kau kat mana? [pause] Hah? [pause] OK, kau masuk, terus je nanti jumpa dua traffic light, ko masuk kiri. Depan lagi ada ada rumah kedai belah kiri [pause] Kau carik kedai makan lepas 7-Eleven ni. [long pause] Kau terus dulu. [pause] Zaki ada, pastu ada lagi 2-3 member aku. [pause] Isnin depan la kot. Tak sure lagi. Kau sampai nanti kita bincang la. [pause] Kau dah masuk ke belum? Terus je dua traffic light. [pause] Terus. [pause] Ha, terus. Straight je. [pause] First traffic light tu terus."

Conversation berterusan sampai 15 minit. Jijol tak jumpa lagi first traffic light tu.

III - Mamu

"Dude, where the hell are you?"
"I'm entering Subang now."
"OK, Darus is the just at the entrance of the street going to Asia Cafe. In front of Goodyear."

Sejam lebih lepas tu baru Mamu sampai.

IV - Ash

Maka pada suatu hari, Ash tiba-tiba tweet "help. is bangi near ampang or klia???" dan semua orang tergelak bersama-sama di timeline.

Aku Sebuah Jam

2011-12-23T10:59:00.000+08:00

Aku sebuah jam tangan. Aku milik Bruce Willis, hasil peninggalan bapanya. Sebenarnya banyak cerita yang aku boleh beritahu sepanjang hidup aku sebagai jam tangan ni. Siap pernah nampak orang mati kena bunuh.

Aku boleh cerita pasal ada sekali ni aku nampak John Travolta kena bunuh. Ni semua pasal Bruce Willis tertinggal aku kat rumah. Dia pesan kat awek dia, jangan lupa ambik aku masa kemas-kemas barang dia. Tapi awek dia lupa jugak. Jadi dia balik sendiri, nak ambik aku. Tengok-tengok ada uzi kat dapur. Milik John Travolta. Travolta tengah berak kat dalam toilet. Dia keluar je, Bruce Willis terus tembak dia.

Tapi pengalaman paling ngeri aku ialah tinggal di dalam bontot Christopher Walken selama dua tahun. Sigh... Sampai sekarang aku cuba nak lupakan.

I Am Officially A Retired Gamer

2011-12-06T02:13:00.001+08:00

"So, when are you gonna start gaming again?" I've been asked that question over and over for a while now. Wait for Civilization V, I said. Wait for Cataclysm, I said. Wait for DC Online, I said. Wait for Skyrim, I said. Now, I don't even bother to answer. And they have stopped asking.

Is it because I'm still running a seven years old machine? No, that's not it. I have another machine with good specs that only lacks a graphic card, which Ed was willing to donate. All I have to do is pick it up.

Is it because of the influx of first person shooters - a genre that I despise - that is taking over the gaming industry? Or the whatever-shitty-ville people are playing on Facebook? Am I becoming 'that old man' that complains about how games aren't what it used to be anymore?

No.

Truth be told, I have no idea why I'm not playing video games anymore. Even if I don't like most of the new games, my PC is full of old school games from the 90s. Hell, I've been looking forward to Skyrim ever since it was announced but I've yet to even look at the menu screen. So it's not because of the lack of choice. I just don't know why. I just... stopped gaming. Ed even denounced my geekhood.

It's been such a long time since I played any game. No more blisters on my thumb. No more carpal tunnel. No more 'the zone'. No more 14 hours gaming marathon. No more death by lag. No more "one more level". No more corpse camping. No more tea-bagging. No more up up down down left right left right B A start. I'm a gamer... no more.

I'm becoming a mortal. The guy who was labelled "game freak. games, nothing but games" on the highschool yearbook.

The geek shall inherit the earth. And I guess I won't be one of them.

Serial Quitter

2011-11-30T19:14:00.000+08:00

It's been almost 40 hours since my last cigarette. Some people might cheer for me but sceptics like Johan would say, "that time of the year again?" I quit smoking more time than your momma got laid.

Yes, every now and then, I vowed that "this is my last cigarette ever" which of course, Johan has heard of for dozens of times before.

Why is it so hard for me to stay away from ciggie? I can actually handle the withdrawal. Withdrawal is not a problem. It's just that it's hard to quit when you smoke an average of 1 and 1/4 pack a day. Plus I hung around smokers all the time. Every once in a while, they will respect and encourage you to stay off cigarette. Then every once in a while you'll have a friend like Chew.

Let me tell you a story about this bastard called Chew. I've quit for almost one month at that time. Then this bastard joined us for lunch one time. The instance he found out I've quit smoking, he started blowing smoke in my direction, offers me a drag, which I denied. Then he offered me a stick, which I denied again. Then he offered me a pack, again I denied. Then he just raised his hand, call the mamak and said, "bagi Dunhill tiga." He kept one for himself and put the other two packs in front of me.

Another thing that makes it hard to quit is that the first cigarette after a long break from nicotine is the best. Also, I actually enjoy the withdrawal.

When it comes to statistic, I only know personally two people that died due to cigarette. I've lost dozens of relatives due to motorcycle accidents. At both cases, the dude was smoking immediately after playing sports. Heart attack. Both under 30 at that time.

Which brings me to the reason for me quitting this time around.

I got a squeezing chest pain on the night after after the incident on the previous post. The pain stayed for 10 - 15 minutes and then disappeared. After a while it came back again. So of course, I'm afraid it might be a symptoms of a heart attack. At which point I buzzed Ilya over YM and informed him that I'll be working until 3 am. If I'm suddenly AFK'd, call an ambulance.

I'm still worried though. But since it's past midnight, I just thought, fuck it. I'll just worry about it tomorrow (yeah, that's my usual "fuck-giving" level). But I did asked Nedd over Twitter if this chest pain is bad. Apparently it's most probably just a muscle spasm.

But I've quit smoking for almost two days now. Might as well keep on going and see how far I can go. Which might be one or two hours at most, since I'll be hanging out with Syed in a short while.

P.S. So, maybe I've quit smoking. But Cikgu Zara and Sufian Abas are turning me into a caffeine addict.

Syed Dan Twilight

2011-11-29T01:02:00.001+08:00

SMS daripada Syed: "Razman, shah, adib. Lepak minum jom petang ni"

Aku balas balik: "boleh. remind aku 10 minit sebelum ko gerak. takut aku tido"

Dan pukul 4 lebih Syed call ajak lepak mapley biasa. Menunjukkan yang Man dan Shah tak join lepak. Aku kata "aku gerak sekarang" sebelum masuk bilik air, mandi dulu.

By the time aku on the way, Syed sms suruh aku park je kereta kat mapley biasa. Tukar venue nak lepak. Ash ajak lepak kat Rasta. Ok je. Naik kereta Syed, jimatlah minyak aku. Aku SMS dia balik. "Aku dah nak sampai ni. Kat esso dah." Padahal jauh lagi.

Syed call maki-maki aku pasal aku tak sampai lagi bila dia dah sampai. Memang biasa dah main jongkang-jongkit denga Syed kalau bab timing lepak ni. Tapi tu cerita untuk masa lain.

Jadi aku masuk kereta Syed. Tak boleh hisap rokok pasal tingkap sebelah passenger takleh bukak.

Dah agak-agak jauh sikit gerak Syed cakap, "Oh, tukar venue. Lepak kat Curve."

"Curve? Apa occasion pulak ni?" Aku malas nak jalan. Seluar aku longgar dan aku tak pakai tali pinggang. Leceh.

"Apa lagi, tengok Twilight la."

Fuck. Aku masuk perangkap. Perangkap yang lebih kurang Syed nak guna untuk kenakan Ilya. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Syed dah gelak-gelak dah.

"Buto la tengok Twilight. Ah, takde-takde."

"Come on lah, tiket dah book dah. Aku belanja."

"Buto la. Takde-takde. Aku lagi rela kena kanser daripada tengok Twilight."

Aku terus fikir solution nak lari. Kalau betul tengok Twilight, memang aku balik sendiri la naik cab. Or mintak tolong Ilya hantar. Alang-alang rumah dia dekat Curve. Tapi kalau nak suruh Ilya datang, kenakan dia tengok Twilight sekali pun kelakar jugak. Tapi problemnya, kalau buat camtu, aku kena tengok la jugak.

"Fuck you, Syed. Mati hidup balik pun aku takkan tengok Twilight. Dah la tengok dengan kau. Kalau dengan awek takpe la jugak. Itu pun the awek kena betul-betul worth it."

Nasik baik dia memang tipu aku je. Aku pun lupa yang Ash pun benci Twilight. Memang kirim salam la Syed nak racun semua tengok Twilight.

Nasib baik memang lepak makan je. Bila Ash datang terus aku cerita Syed punya attempt nak racun semua orang tengok Twilight. Dah kena gelak time tu pun dia masih tak mengalah lagi.

Kisah Syed dan Twilight ni sebenarnya agak panjang. Semuanya berpunca dengan kejayaannya buat semua member-member suka lagu I Love You Like A Love Song. Jadi dia ingat dia akan berjaya buat member-member tengok Twilight. Alasan dia memang agak celaka gak. "Aku dah tengok Twilight-Twilight lain kat wayang sebelum ni, alang-alang bagi habis je la." Sejak pengakuan dia tu, memang hari-hari harras semua orang. Hari-hari dia ajak semua orang tengok Twilight.

Aku dah pernah buat statement sebelum ni yang aku lagi rela kena kanser daripada tengok Twilight. Terus bermimpi je lah Syed nak try racun. Memang dulu dia guna alasan ex dia ajak tengok. Nasib baik ex aku dulu pun benci Twilight. Jadi so far memang aku tak tengok lagi.

Sorry dude. Cerita ni memang kena cerita. Sebelum kau attempt next prank.

Radar Aku Tak Berapa Berfungsi

2011-11-07T14:09:00.002+08:00

"Syed, 5 o'clock."
"Huh?"
"5 o'clock."
Muka Syed masih blur. Dia tak dengar aku cakap apa.
"Tengok kau punya 5 o'clock. OK tak?"
Syed toleh kepala dia untuk melihat. Awek comel berambut panjang dan berkaca mata. Awek yang aku usya sejak dia duduk kat meja tu, berharap dia tengok ke arah aku. Tapi tangan asyik pegang phone je.
Syed toleh balik ke arah aku. "Tak berapa nampak. Kejap, aku tengok balik."
"Nevermind," aku cakap. "Ada boyfriend." Seorang lelaki rambut terpacak datang duduk di hadapan awek tu sambil bawa air.
Syed dah tergelak. "Apa teruk sangat kau punya bad luck ni? Dah la, kau takyah jadi scout lagi. Asyik semua orang punya je."
Aku cuba divert perbualan untuk tukar topik. Cukup-cukuplah kau bahan aku kat Twitter.
Nasib baik berjaya. Tapi lepas tu Zaki sampai kat table kitorang dan topik kembali kepada membahan aku.
"Aku dengar ada cerita kelakar," kata Zaki.
Aku dah mencarut dalam hati. "Kau tanya Syed la. Kalau aku cerita kang aku tokok tambah jadi aku hero."
"OK, Syed, kau cerita."
"Member kau ni la. Angau dengan satu minah ni. Last-last rupanya minah tu baru tunang 3 hari sebelum dia jumpa hari tu. Sekarang memang hari-hari kena bahan kat Twitter."
Zaki gelak simpati kat aku.
"Mana aku tau. Hari tu kat table ada dekat 8 orang, sekor pun tak perasan ada cincin."

Balls. Ni bukan kali pertama terjadi.

Note to self: always check for the ring.

Top 5 Wrestling Matches of 2011

2011-11-05T16:36:00.000+08:00

Aku dah tweet tadi list ni, tapi aku tulis panjang lebar pulak la kat sini.

Aku dah malas nak tengok gusti sampai hujung tahun, jadi aku buat la dulu list top 5 match of the year. Aku pun takde tengok banyak sangat gusti tahun ni. Tak tengok NOAH, tak tengok PWG, tak tengok CHIKARA, tak tengok DDT, dan memang takkan la aku tengok TNA. Mostly cuma WWE, ROH, dengan FCW.

So jom tengok list ni:

5. Triple H vs Undertaker. WWE Wrestlemania XXVII
Match ni memang agak slow masa mula. Tapi match ni punya ending memang semat. 3 Pedigree + 1 Tombstone, tapi Undertaker masih tak kalah. Semua orang memang tau, Taker takkan kalah punya kat 'Mania, tapi dekat-dekat ending match, semua mula rasa yang H mungkin ada chance untuk menang.

4. CM Punk vs Randy Orton. WWE Wrestlemania XXVII
Build up untuk match ni memang cun. Punk simpan dendam dari 2008. Orton pulak hantar sekor-sekor henchmen Punk pergi hospital. Match dia pun memang gempak. Punk siap pinjam moveset Low-Ki dengan Bret Hart bila dia buat Tree of Woe Ghetto Stomp dengan Ring Post Figure Four. Ending match pun gempak bila Orton counter Punk punya springboard clothesline dengan RKO.

3. Seth Rollins vs Dean Ambrose. FCW, 18 September 2011
30 minutes Iron Man Match. Habis time limit, masih draw. Jadi ada extra time untuk sudden death. Banyak-banyak match dalam list ni, mungkin yang ni yang korang tak pernah tengok. Jadi aku bagi je la full match (minus commercial) dia.

2. CM Punk vs John Cena. WWE Money In The Bank
This is CM Punk at the top of his game. Inilah saat yang buat aku bangga jadi wrestling fan. Punk baru lepas buat promo of the decade. Ini last match ikut kontrak dia. Lawan kat Chicago, kampung Punk. 30+ minutes. Segala kritik yang mengatakan Cena tak reti gusti, tamat dalam match ni. Satu-satunya sebab match ni aku tak letak dalam nombor 1, adalah kerana match ni punya ending tak berapa clean. Vince McMahon dengan Johnny Ace kacau.

1. Davey Richards vs Eddie Edwards. ROH Best In The World
Eddie champion. Davey jadi challenger. Build up lama. Dua kawan baik. Dua tag team partner. Eddie memang selama ni ikut bayang-bayang Davey. Davey umpama abang kepada Eddie. Tapi Eddie dahulu yang jadi World Champion sebelum Davey. Tapi Eddie rasa semuanya tak bermakna selagi dia tak kalahkan Davey. Davey mula-mula taknak terima cabaran, sebab dia taknak tamatkan impian kawan baik dia tu. Tapi Eddie keras-kerasnya nak lawan Davey.

Match dia pun memang gempak. Part paling menyayat hati bila Davey tangkap kaki Eddie yang dah memang sakit tapi teragak-agak nak proceed. Eddie lempang Davey 2-3 kali sambil kata, "do it." Dia taknak menang sebab Davey kesian. Dia punya post match, aku terus manly tears. Touching macam masa Chris Benoit menang title lepas tu celebrate dengan Eddie Guerrerro

Jadi itulah senarai top 5 match gusti aku untuk 2011.

Howdy Spambot

2011-10-19T10:35:00.000+08:00

Sometimes it is fun to talk to spambot

Peju the Homeless: hi u around?
Rexxarro: ape kes tetiba speaking? mesti ko kena virus ni
Peju the Homeless: hmm i dont think so, i always keep my antivirus up to date
Rexxarro: what's up
Peju the Homeless: did you hear about Steve Jobs?
Rexxarro: yeah, you're a virus
Peju the Homeless: Yeah supposedly apple is giving away 5000 macbooks today in honor of him.
Rexxarro: no thanks, ms virusbot
Peju the Homeless: why not!?!?
Peju the Homeless: ?
Rexxarro: say something in malay
Peju the Homeless: I just signed up for mine here: [spam link] and there are only 945 remaining.
Rexxarro: just ask for my password if you want to
Peju the Homeless: Let me know if you get one too
Rexxarro: just an advise, the owner of the account you just hijacked has terrible, terrible typos

The Tale of Two Fathers

2011-10-08T03:03:00.000+08:00

Member-member aku yang kahwin tengah tahun hari tu semua sharpshooter. Sekejap je bini dah mengandung. Kat sini aku nak cerita tale pasal macam mana dua orang sahabat aku bagitau kat aku yang diorang bakal jadi bapak.

One or two weeks before fasting month. Aku dapat sms dari Man. afiq pidos syed adib, jumaat mlm pas keje jom lepak. ada announcement skit la. hehe.

Masing-masing dah boleh agak dah. Tapi takpe. Play along. Bagi chance kat Man cerita. Hari Jumaat yang dijanjikan, aku sampai dulu. Gila awal. Pukul 8.30 camtu aku dah kat Subang. Syed sangkut lagi kat KL. Dia kata dia lambat.

So aku tunggu la yang lain-lain datang. Man sampai lepas aku. Lepak order air dulu. "So announcement apa ko nak bagitau ni?" "Mana ada announcement. Saja je rindu lepak dengan korang." Dan dan je. Takpe. Kitorang lepak dulu sembang-sembang biasa. Pukul 9 lebih Pidos dengan Afiq sampai. Syed still sangkut kat KL.

Syed sampai dah pukul 10 lebih. Baru je Syed duduk - tak sempat nak light rokok lagi - Man terus announce, "Sebenarnya, aku bakal jadi bapak," sambil bagi cigar sorang satu.

Syed terus cakap. "Sial la kau. Build up la dulu. Memang la kitorang semua dah expect kau nak announce benda ni. Aku penat-penat redah jam. Gila anti-climatic."

"Hahaha. Mana aku reti nak build up dowh."

"Bila expected?"

"April tahun depan."

"Kalau kau plan nak April Fool kat kitorang, kau memang cibai."

*****

Cerita kedua pulak, mula dari last week. Ilya tiba-tiba call aku. "Bro, whatcha doing? Malam ni apa plan?"

"Aku nak lepak dengan Syed kejap lagi."

"Alright. Nanti aku join kot. Tapi nak bawak bini pergi klinik kejap."

"Alright."

Aku lepak berdua dengan Syed. Sampai pukul 1 pun Ilya tak sampai jugak. So memang aku bajet dia FFK.

Esok paginya, Ilya IM aku.

Ilya: sorry bro. aku ffk semalam. btw, check this out http://9gag.com/gag/308064

Memang rutin selalu kitorang start IM conversation dengan link 9Gag. Aku klik link tu yang bawak kepada gambar ni:

Rexxarro: lol
Rexxarro: nice one bro
Ilya: lol
Ilya: btw i didnt fail my bio exam
Rexxarro: aku dah agak dah
Rexxarro: kongratulasi fucker
Ilya: hahaha
Ilya: thanx bro
Rexxarro: ko pun macam man gak. sharpshooter
Rexxarro: dibs
Rexxarro if a boy, adib. a girl, adibah
Ilya: haha
Ilya: the wife kata boleh consider

Apabila Einstein (Mungkin) Salah

2011-09-24T00:40:00.000+08:00

(Pada saat aku tulis entri ini, presentation di CERN baru sahaja tamat dan saintis sedang menjalankan sesi Q&A di sini.)

Aku tergamam kejap tadi masa aku terbaca mengenai berita yang saintis dah pecahkan kelajuan cahaya. Neutrino yang ditembakkan dari CERN di Geneva tiba di Italy 60 nano saat lebih laju daripada kelajuan cahaya. Kalau ini betul, bermakna Teori Relativiti Einstein yang mengatakan tiada apa-apa yang boleh bergerak lebih laju daripada cahaya adalah salah.

Mula-mula aku rasakan yang ada kesilapan di mana-mana. Hell, saintis-saintis yang buat eksmerimen ini pun tak percaya.That's how science work. Buat eksperimen untuk buktikan diri sendiri salah. Lepas tu kalau tak jumpa kesalahan, minta komuniti saintifik nilai eksperimen, suruh diorang check ada salah tak. Kalau tak ada salah baru boleh buat kesimpulan. Lebih kurang 16,000 neutrino yang ditembak dari Geneva ke Itali dalam tempoh 3 tahun. Presentation di CERN baru je tamat sekejap tadi. Esok lusa kang aku update la kalau ada video ke apa ke.

Ini penemuan besar. Kompem diorang dapat Nobel Prize ni.

Namun aku masih skeptikal lagi. Tapi jangan dengar cakap aku. Aku bukannya particle physicist.

How I Became a Writer

2011-08-19T04:16:00.002+08:00

When I left high school a little over a decade ago, being a published writer did not even crossed my mind. But it seems that by the end of the year, that exactly what I will be. In case you do not know, my novel Zombijaya will be published soon, most probably around Halloween. Despite Edzree's insistence, I have not reveal any single spoiler from the book. (and I somehow draw sadistic pleasure at withholding any book informations from him)

Back during high school, I didn't know that I would be a writer. I was not kidding when I said in the profile that I'm a jack of all trades (and of course, master of none). My best subject during schooltime is, ironically, math. Both my BM and English are mediocre. So it's not like I purposely ignore this path to become a writer. I just never knew it was in me.

It's not like I don't like reading when I was a kid. But perhaps the medium (comics and video games) that I chose doesn't really makes me wanna go "you know, I should be a writer".

I've been influenced more by comic books that novel. I believe that I owe it to my mother that encouraged me to read as a kid. She bought be some Enid Blyton's books and kept buying me a new one everytime I finished reading it. After I finished reading the whole "7 Penyiasat" (Secret Seven) series, I stopped reading. But since I was good at math, maybe then she thought it would be okay if I abandoned my story books. (Sad to say that I no longer own any of those books)

For the rest of my school days, I only read comic books. Literature was not part of the curriculum during my time. Hell, I didn't read Moby Dick until I've finished high school.

I've always been creative. Part of the reason I love wrestling is that I always pictured the possibilities on how the storyline should go. Oh yeah, running a wrestling promotion was one of my dream as a kid.

World-building is part of my daydreaming ever since I was a kid. I can get absorbed for hours playing with plastic army men. Videogame storyline during my childhood did not get more complicated than a plumber growing twice the size with magic mushroom. Creativity is important. Maybe that is why I love a lot of the fantasy and sci-fi settings (not neccesarily the story).

But then one (comic) book changed my life. Y: The Last Man. A story of a world being run by women after all the mammal with y-chromosome was killed at once except for one man and his monkey. The concept is simple but the execution is on a whole new level. If anyone wants to start reading comic, I suggest to start with Y. It is still at number one in my favourite books of all time.

So Y changed my life. I started lurking Brian K. Vaughan's forum, taking advices on how to become a writer. Just some of the advices that came to my mind (I'm just paraphrasing here. Can't remember the exact quotes),

"Writer's block is just another name for video game. If you want to be a writer, get writing you lazy bastards"

"The first 10,000 pages you write are total crap. Being a writer means to keep writing until that page 10,001."

That was half a decade ago. Maybe the pitch that I submit to Buku Fixi is the 10,001st page. Maybe the reason I managed to finish Zombijaya is because I totally abandoned videogames for a while.

I would love to talk about Zombijaya but now is not the time. Be patience. Soon. Real soon.

P.S. Chad, can I have my Y: The Last Man back?

Summerslam Predictions

2011-08-14T18:29:00.002+08:00

I've always said that I would be making blogposts for a pay-per-view predictions but never actually do. But since this year's Summerslam is perhaps the most important pay-per-view in the last... ten years, probably, so I have to make this post.

As of this writings, there are only five matches being announced so we might get one or two unadvertised match(es). I'll post the predictions in the order I think it will be shown. Note that although I read Smackdown report now and then, I don't actually watch Smackdown itself. Not because I don't like Smackdown but because TV3 is the one that has the right to show Smackdown over here and they only run it for an hour (including commercial).

Daniel Bryan vs Wade Barrett

It is sad when this time last year, Wade Barrett is the top heel of the company. He was feuding against Cena in the best storyline from last year. Anyway, about this match. Bryan is the holder of Smackdown's Money In The Bank and he already said that he will cash it in at Wrestlemania. He could afford to lose here and still have time to build him up for Wrestlemania. The audiences have a pretty short attention span. Barrett needs this win to build him up again.

Winner: Wade Barrett via pinfal

Sheamus vs Mark Henry

This one is hard to predict. Both men is getting a mega push and a lost would mean a momentum lost. My guest would be Sheamus takes the win here. Mark Henry will be pissed and demolishes Sheamus post-match.

Winner: Sheamus via pinfal

Kelly Kelly vs Beth Phoenix for the WWE Divas title

I've said in the previous post (it's in Malay, though) why Beth should take the win here. It's not even a question of who will win. It's a question of how dominating Beth will be. Seriously, the fans might riot if Kelly wins here. Well, maybe not.

Winner: (and new champion) Beth Phoenix via pinfal

Christian vs Randy Orton for the World Heavyweight title in a No Holds Barred match

Please, please, please, no more Orton title reign. Orton is just plain boring. Christian takes the win here with some dirty tactics.

Winner: (and still champion) Christian via pinfal

John Cena vs CM Punk to unify the WWE title with Triple H as special guest referee

This is it. If Triple H is not put into the equation, I'd say Punk will win. But since Triple H has announced himself as the referee, it could go either way. I would really hope that Punk would pin Cena clean in the middle of the ring. Or better, make him submit to the Anaconda Vise. But this match has so many possibilities. And that NOT including the possibility of Alberto Del Rio cashing in his Money in the Bank. The only way I would accept Punk losing here is if both Cena and HHH turn heel.

Winner: (and the undisputed champion) CM Punk

Diva Division

2011-08-12T19:37:00.002+08:00

Aku nak tujukan dulu kemarahan aku kat Astro pasal banyak potong episod RAW awal minggu hari tu. Dah lah kena delay dulu sejam. Tapi aku tak kisah sangat part delay tu. Aku marah pasal diorang banyak potong masa sejam terakhir. Part-part yang diorang potong tu mostly adalah, for the lack of better words, "dramatic pause". Ya, mungkin korang ingat "ala, bukannya ada apa-apa jadi part ni. Potong je la." That is not how wrestling works. Psychology itu penting. Kau ingat Hulk Hogan boleh over dengan fans kalau time dia work the crowd tu kena potong dengan alasan "ala bukannya apa-apa jadi pun." In wrestling, every moment counts.

OK, dah cukup marah* Astro setakat ni. Kembali kepada topik.

*nampak macam lembut je aku marah ni kan? Dah tiga hari lepas punya isu. Time baru jadi hari tu habis panjang aku maki hamun kat Twitter.

Macam aku cakap sebelum-sebelum ni, wrestling sekarang dah masuk dalam golden age baru. Orang dah start panggil era ni sebagai reality era. Kenapa? Sebab banyak storyline sekarang ni ambik daripada isu-isu yang dibangkitkan oleh internet wrestling community. Termasuklah topik yang aku nak ketengahkan hari ni.

Wrestler-wrestler pompuan (nak aku panggil diva jugak ke?) kat WWE bukannya tak ada yang boleh lawan. Tapi semuanya dilupakan kerana Vince kata lagi senang nak ajar supermodel jadi wrestler daripada ajar wrestler jadi supermodel. Jadi Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Gail Kim, dan Melina diketepikan untuk push Bella Twins dan Kelly Kelly.

Kelly Kelly memang champion paling tak believable dalam sejarah. Aku facepalm setiap kali tengok dia buat Lou Thesz Press. Sebab tu lah orang panggil diva match sebagai bathroom break.

Women's wrestling kat WWE used to be good. Suatu ketika dulu Trish Stratus dengan Lita pernah main event RAW sekali. Apa jadi dengan zaman Trish? Dan Lita. Dan Mickie James. Dan Victoria. Dan Molly Holly. Dan Beth Phoenix. Semuanya bertukar bila creative mula push bimbo-bimbo macam Kelly Kelly ni instead of actual wrestler.

Here's the thing. If we want to watch pretty women, there are a lot of other form of entertainment we could go to. If we want to watch some bimbo with bad acting skill who sucks, we could just watch porn. We watch wrestling because we want to watch, well, wrestling.

Terlebih cakap England pulak.

Anyway, aku dah lama give up dengan gusti divisyen pompuan ni. Aku tau yang sampai bila-bila pun WWE takkan push the right woman. Tapi persepsi aku tu bertukar awal tahun ini apabila WWE signed Kharma. Memang match yang selama ini orang nanti-nantikan adalah antara Kharma dan Beth Phoenix. Ada yang kata Chyna tapi aku rasa Chyna sucks as a wrestler.

Jadi aku excited gila masa Kharma start masuk. Tiap-tiap minggu akan ada sekor bimbo yang kena tibai dengan Kharma. Waktu itu booking diorang macam nak set storyline kemuncak dengan Kharma belasah Kelly ataupun Bella Twins. Beth dengan Natalya belom masuk dalam storyline lagi. Tak apa. Slow build.

Tapi storyline Kharma terbantut gara-gara dia mengandung. Jadi dia akan menyepikan diri daripada TV mungkin sampai ke pertengahan tahun depan. Kembali la ke zaman bimbo semula bila Kelly Kelly jadi champion.

Berbulan-bulan kena mengadap Kelly jadi champion. Semua orang kata "I can't believe this shit."

Semua berubah masa RAW minggu lepas apabila Beth Phoenix jadi number 1 contender lepas tu proceed belasah Kelly. Lepas belasah siap dapat time untuk short promo. Promo pendek je. Beth cakap dia akan hancurkan bimbo-bimbo macam Kelly yang memperbodoh-bodohkan divisyen gusti wanita. Di Smackdown pula pada minggu yang sama, Natalya pula belasah AJ dan buat promo yang sama macam Beth Phoenix.

Jadi dua orang female wrestler kini jadi centre storyline untuk divisyen diva. Dan kedua-duanya memang wrestler. Beth adalah wanita kedua dalam sejarah yang pernah masuk Royal Rumble. Natalya adalah anak kepada Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart dan juga anak saudara kepada Bret Hart.

Sementara nak tunggu Kharma datang balik, dua minah ni boleh carry the whole division. Tapi cukup ke dengan dua orang je? Kalau Triple H betul-betul nak improve divisyen diva ni, dia kena hire female wrestler yang lain. Bagi aku, kat North America, female wrestler yang terbaik adalah Sara Del Rey, Cheerleader Melissa, dan MsChif.

Malangnya, MsChif, aku yakin dia tak akan sign dengan WWE kerana dia memang ada kareer sebagai microbiologist. Wrestling hanyalah hobi baginya. Sara Del Rey sekarang mostly ada kat ROH. Cheerleader Melissa aku tak pasti dia aktif kat mana sekarang. Tapi dia ada sejarah dengan Kharma masa dua-dua ada kat TNA dulu jadi aku berharap sangat diorang sign Melissa.

Banyak je lagi wrestler pompuan yang ada. Boleh je diorang scout talent-talent dari Shimmer macam Portia Perez, Nikki Roxx, Mercedes Martinez, dan kalau nak gila lagi, LuFisto. Sebab apa aku kata gila? Pasal LuFisto seorang hardcore wrestler. Semua match dia mesti berdarah. Dia pun lagi kerap lawan dengan lelaki daripada pompuan. Rasanya ada kat Youtube match dia dengan Necro Butcher (mamat yang lawan hardcore match dengan character Mickey Rourke dalam The Wrestler).

So kesimpulannya, tolonglah Beth tamatkan riwayat bimbo-bimbo ni semua. Bring back wrestling to the diva division. Aku nak satu hari nanti Beth, Nattie, dengan Kharma main event mana-mana pay-per-view.

The Fall of The Last Emperor

2011-08-09T05:02:00.001+08:00

Aku mula tengok mixed martial arts dalam tahun 2004 ataupun 2005. Waktu tu aku tengah bosan tak ada cerita nak tengok. Aku mula banyak dengar orang rekomen supaya tengok Pride FC. Jadi mula tengok koleksi KO yang paling ganas dalam Pride FC. Waktu tu aku cuma kenal dua orang je mixed martial artist - Ken Shamrock dengan Dan Severn. Tu pun pasal dua-dua pernah masuk dalam WWF.

Jadi aku curious dengan sukan baru ni. Lepas selesai tengok koleksi hardcore knockouts Pride FC, aku terus jatuh cinta kat mixed martial arts.

Daripada koleksi tu, lima nama melekat kat dalam kepala aku. Wanderlei Silva, Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic, Mauricio "Shogun" Rua, Dan Henderson, dan Aleksander Emelianenko. Daripada agression Wanderlei Silva, kepada tendangan padu maut Cro Cop, Shogun punya dominasi, Hendo punya finish, hinggalah muka ngantuk Aleksander Emelianenko, aku dapat saksikan kelainan sukan baru ini daripada combat sports yang lain.

Tapi waktu tu aku tak tau yang best fighter takde dalam senarai tu. Best fighter takde dalam koleksi DVD tu. Kerana DVD tu adalah koleksi KO. Dan KO hanyalah salah satu daripada cara untuk menang dalam sukan ini. Tidak. Best fighter dalam MMA jarang menang secara KO. Dia banyak menang secara submission. Best fighter ini adalah abang kepada salah seorang daripada lima orang yang tarik perhatian aku tu. Best fighter ini ialah Fedor Emelianenko.

Apa yang membuatkan Fedor best fighter? Mengapa dia digelar The Last Emperor? Kerana rekod pertarungannya sehingga awal 2010 ialah 31 menang dan 1 kalah sebelum dia terima kekalahan keduanya dalam bulan Jun 2010 (kejap lagi aku cerita).

Apa signifikasinya rekod 31 menang 2 kalah? Untuk perbandingan, Oscar de la Hoya pun menang 32 kali sebelum kalah kali ke-2. Dan MMA tak sama dengan boxing jadi perbandingan ni tak boleh pakai sangat. Kekalahan pertama Fedor pun adalah kerana doktor yang stop kan sebab darah Fedor taknak berhenti mengalir.

Jadi untuk sepanjang masa aku menonton Pride FC, sampailah kompeni tu bungkus, aku memang menjadi penyokong besar Fedor. Lepas Pride FC bungkus, aku berhijrah ke UFC. Jadi aku lama gila tak tengok Fedor lawan sehinggalah Jun 2010. Kekalahan kedua Fedor. Waktu tu Fedor baru saja tolak tawaran untuk bertarung dibawah naungan UFC. Dana White - bos UFC - dah campak sebanyak mungkin duit untuk sign Fedor tapi dia reject jugak. Semua orang hampa pasal semua nak tengok Fedor lawan dengan Brock Lesnar.

Anyway, kembali kepada kekalahan kedua Fedor. Waktu tu Fedor memang unbeatable. Takde siapa sangka dia akan kalah pada Fabricio Werdum. Aku pun tak pernah dengar nama Werdum sebelum fight dia dengan Fedor. Pada pendapat aku, Fedor underestimate Werdum bila nampak Werdum dah tumbang awal. Dia cuba nak tapau cepat-cepat tiba-tiba Werdum terus bagi triangle choke. Fight time 1 minit lebih je. Dunia MMA kecoh gila bila Fedor kalah. Fight tu jadi biggest upset of the year.

Tapi takpe. Ini Fedor. Werdum lucky je tu. Fedor akan kembali. Tak mungkin kilat akan memancar dua kali. Next fight Fedor adalah pada Februari tahun ni. Lawan Antonio Silva. Sekali lagi dia kalah. Dunia MMA kecoh lagi sekali. Fedor tak pernah kalah lebih daripada 9 tahun. Tiba-tiba kalah dua kali berturut-turut. Aku tak tengok fight ni jadi tak boleh nak komen sangat.

Tapi takpe. Ini Fedor. Dia adalah The Last Emperor. Dia pasti akan bounce back. Aku memang yakin next opponent dia pasti akan kena tapau dengan Fedor. Tapi kemudian lawan dia diumumkan. Dan "Hendo" Henderson. Tengok balik perenggan ketiga tadi. Dan Henderson adalah salah satu senarai fighter yang menarik minat aku menonton MMA.

Fedor vs Hendo. Dua-dua dah memang legend. Tapi kenapa dia lawan Hendo? Seingat aku, last fight Hendo yang aku tengok dulu dalam kategori middleweight. Fedor heavyweight. Sepanjang aku tengok Fedor memang dia dalam heavyweight jadi aku tak rasa dia akan turun weight class.

First aku ingatkan maybe fight ni tak buat ikut weight class. Tapi rupa-rupanya Hendo naikkan berat badan sampai masuk heavyweight punya weight class. Kemudian tibalah masa untuk fight day. Terkejut aku tengok badan Hendo besar.

Fight mula-mula even. Sampailah hujung round 1 bila Hendo tumbang kena tumbuk dengan Fedor. Fedor terus follow up cepat-cepat tapi Hendo sempat recover masa kat ground. Dia cepat-cepat peluk kaki Fedor sementara nak tahan kena belasah. Lepas tu dia slip pergi belakang Fedor, bagi uppercut dari bawah - POW - tepat kena dagu. One hit je Fedor terus out. Hendo follow up lagi 3-4 bijik sebelum refferee - Herb Dean, reff yang paling bagus - stopped the fight. Macam tu je, Fedor dah kalah tiga kali berturut-turut.

Jadi soalan ramai orang sekarang, adakah Fedor patut retire sementara reputasi dia masih tinggi lagi? Frank Shamrock pun retire awal jugak.

Tapi pendapat aku, Fedor janganlah retire dulu. Sekarang takde siapa yang boleh nak kejar rekod dia - selain Anderson Silva - dalam masa terdekat ni. Dia dah tahap living legend. Kalau reputasi Randy Couture tak jatuh, reputasi Fedor takkan jatuh. Lagipun Fedor baru 34 tahun. Randy Couture 47 tahun masa final fight dia awal tahun hari tu. Fedor boleh bounce back lagi ni.

I actually have nothing bad to say

2011-08-02T23:39:00.001+08:00

For the first time in a very long time, I actually don't have anything bad to say about RAW. Usually there will at least be a few segments that is so facepalmed-worthy. But not this week's show. Even the diva's match is pretty decent (and they are pushing Beth Phoenix, so that is a major plus).

I marked out during the CM Punk - HHH confrontation in the begining of the show. It's very rare that another wrestler came out on top during verbal exchange with HHH.

I haven't got to my weekly meeting with Syed (@syedmukhrim on twitter) yet to discuss this week's storyline progress but I think this year's Summerslam should be the ideal time for a double turn. CM Punk is pretty much a face already. Just make the turn official at Summerslam. And a Cena heel turn is what the character desperately needed. But it is almost definitely will not happen.

So far WWE has not fuck up this angle. Do not fuck up this angle. This is the storyline that will shape a new era. People will be talking about Cena-Punk feud for years to come.

And please don't rush into Punk-HHH too soon. Cena-Punk can carry the feud until end of the year. Then when Cena moves on to The Rock, you can start building up for Punk-HHH.

It is moments like these that make me proud to be a rasslin' fan.

Duit Di Dalam Bank

2011-08-01T22:48:00.000+08:00

Seperti yang aku katakan sebelum ini, gusti dah start masuk golden age semula. Seperti yang aku janji sebelum ini, aku nak cakap pasal CM Punk. Hari ni aku start dengan cerita pasal match of the year tahun ini. Sambungan cerita pasal CM Punk. Cerita pasal pay per view Money In The Bank. Kenapa aku lambat tulis pasal ni? Seperti aku kata sebelum ini, aku sibuk nak siapkan novel pertama aku. Sekarang dah siap, so ada lebih sikit masa.

Masa Wrestlemania awal tahun hari itu, bila aku tengok Triple H lawan Undertaker, aku terus cakap "that's it. this is the match of the year." Aku tak rasakan akan ada match lain yang akan top diorang punya match. Oh boy do I love it when I'm wrong. Lewat bulan 6 hari itu, Davey Richards lawan Eddie Edwards dekat Best In The World terus naik takhta nombor satu match of the year aku. Korang mungkin tak kenal diorang berdua ni. Tapi kalau nak cerita pasal American Wolves dan Ring of Honor memang perlu tulis entri lain.

Anyway, masa pay per view Money In The Bank pertengahan bulan lepas, match antara John Cena dan CM Punk ambik alih posisi nombor satu match of the year aku. Bukan setakat match of the year. Aku rasa ini memang match Cena paling baik sepanjang kareer dia.

Aku mula menonton match diorang ni dengan meletakkan ekspektasi yang tinggi. And they exceeded my already high expectation.

Match lebih 30 minit. And Cena actually wrestled. Pembenci Cena dah tak boleh nak kutuk kata dia tak reti gusti. Bagi aku Cena ini macam Hogan dan The Rock. Mereka boleh wrestle. Tapi mereka choose not to. Kalau tak percaya cuba tengok match Hogan lawan dengan Great Muta dan match-match The Rock masa dia rookie.

Jadi ya, Cena boleh wrestle. Dia bukannya macam Ultimate Warrior. Kebencian aku pada Cena bukanlah sebab in-ring skill dia. Tapi kalau nak cerita pasal apa aku benci Cena, memang kena buat entri lain. Secara ringkasnya adalah kerana watak Superman yang dibawanya.

Kembali kepada match Cena dan Punk. Bulu roma aku dah start meremang sebelum match bermula lagi. Crowd Chicago dah start laungkan nama CM Punk sebelum muzik dia berbunyi lagi. Bila muzik dia keluar, laungan makin kuat. Lagu CM Punk dah memang cukup kuat. Tapi sorakan penonton tenggelamkan bunyi lagu dia.

Punk keluar dengan muka yang penuh intensity. Crowd makin kuat berbunyi. Punk keluar dengan T-Shirt baru yang tertulis Best In The World di belakang. Sepanjang hidup aku jadi peminat gusti tak pernah aku berniat nak beli merchandise gusti (selain daripada mainan-mainan dia masa aku kecik dulu) tapi lepas nampak t-shirt Punk, aku terus rasa "I must have this".

Colt Cobana dan Ace Steele (serta mak Punk rasanya) ada di tempat penonton. Pity that the commentators tak acknowledge diorang tu siapa.

Bila turn Cena pulak keluar, pergh. Diorang punya boo, sikit punya kuat sampai muka Cena pun berubah. Walaupun crown ni tak sezalim crowd masa Cena lawan RVD masa 2006 dulu (di mana diorang chant "fuck you Cena" non-stop), tapi disebabkan kapasiti arena yang lebih besar, dia punya boo lagi kuat.

Seperti aku katakan tadi. Cena actually wrestled. Dan aku suka juga movesets baru dia. Dia buat Emerald Flowsion lawa. Dia buat top rope Fameasser lawa. Tapi STFU dia masih macam gampang. Walaupun tak segampang Rey Mysterio punya STFU.

Match diorang memang best. Walaupun ada satu botch yang memang nampak sakit. Punk buat flying cross body tapi salah estimate. Landing dekat lutut Cena. Even Superman Cena rasa sakit.

Spot yang paling aku mark out sekali ialah apabila Punk reverse Cena punya STFU jadi Anaconda Vise. Dan apabila Punk kick out daripada Attitude Adjustment. Akhir sekali satu-satunya masa bila crowd sorak untuk Cena bila dia tumbuk John Laurinitis.

Memang match of the year. Yang buat spoil sikit adalah kerana commentator dia Michael Cole. Si bangang tu tak tau pun nama submission yang Punk buat tu Anaconda Vise. Padahal tu salah satu finisher Punk.

CM Punk sekarang adalah biggest name dalam gusti. Semua merchandise CM Punk tengah sold out sekarang kat WWE punya website. It's a shame that WWE dah announce main event Wrestlemania tahun depan as Cena vs The Rock.

Jadi ke mana jalan cerita patut dituju sekarang? Aku dengan Syed tiap-tiap minggu buat booking sendiri. Kitorang rasa memang sekaranglah masa sesuai untuk turn Cena jadi heel. Itu je cara untuk fresh kan karekter dia. Punk dah boleh take over as the face of the company. Dan harap-harap diorang tak tamatkan angle ni cepat sangat. Storyline Punk dengan Cena ni boleh tarik sampai hujung tahun. Aku still tak setuju diorang bawak balik Punk secepat ini. Diorang masih boleh delay lagi sekurang-kurangnya sampai Summerslam.

Damn. Nampak gayanya blog aku dah jadi blog gusti. Enough ranting for now.

Next, aku nak cerita pasal real fighting pulak. Fedor Emelianenko baru lepas kalah pada Dan Henderson semalam.

Kenapa aku minat gusti

2011-08-01T01:55:00.001+08:00

Sekali-sekala tulis pasal gusti dalam bahasa melayu pula. Apa lagi topik panas gusti sekarang kalau bukan CM Punk? Aku dengan Syed sekarang tiap-tiap minggu kalau lepak mesti ada buka topik pasal gusti. Dia sorang je yang boleh match knowledge pasal gusti dengan aku. Tak ada ke peminat gusti lain kat Malaysia ni?

(Nota: start entri ini, kalau aku tulis pasal gusti, memang aku akan guna banyak guna jargon dalam gusti. Korang mungkin tahu apa itu face dan heel. Kalau ada jargon yang tak faham, pandai-pandailah check Wikipedia)

Aku punya interest selalu akan datang dan pergi. Orang selalu tanya aku kenapa aku tak tengok bola. Bukannya aku tak pernah tengok bola. Tapi aku dah hilang minat pasal bola. Time sekolah dulu selalu je aku tengok bola. Tapi sampai satu tahap, aku rasa bosan. Sama macam Moto GP. Dulu masa kecik aku selalu follow. In fact, aku ada lagi gambar aku dengan Wayne Rainey lepas dia lumpuh. Sama jugak. Interest aku dah hilang.

Tapi tak dengan gusti. Dari kecil sampai besar, minat aku pada gusti tak pernah hilang. Aku ingat lagi masa aku kecil dulu. Masa bapak aku beli VCR pertama, ada dua tape dia beli sekali. Satu Wrestlemania III. Lagi satu dia belikan aku cerita kartun yang aku tak ingat. Rasanya Transformers (pun yang aku dah lama hilang minat).

Minat aku pada gusti tak pernah hilang. Even masa aku tak tengok WWE circa 2004-2006 dulu, aku tengok TNA. Lepas tu aku banyak layan Pro Wrestling NOAH. Kesimpulannya, gusti memang kekal dalam hati aku. Aku sedar yang bila kawan-kawan aku selain Syed yang cerita pasal gusti, mesti akan cerita pasal Attitude Era. A.K.A. zaman kegemilangan Stone Cold dan The Rock. Memang zaman tu gusti jadi mainstream. Sebut je 3:16, orang tak akan terpikir pasal bible. Orang akan ingat pasal Stone Cold. Semua orang tahu ayat "If you smell what The Rock is cooking". Lagi satu zaman yang orang akan ingat, ialah zaman 80s. Arwah moyang aku dulu pun kalau datang ke rumah, kalau aku pasang tape gusti, dia akan tanya, "Hogan ada?"

Macam mana gusti boleh jadi mainstream masa mid-90s? Semuanya gara-gara angle waktu awal 1998. Angle yang masuk semua berita satu dunia, even berita kat TV Malaysia. Siapa yang terlibat? Stone Cold dan Mike Tyson. Lagi senang kalau aku tunjuk je video dia:

Insiden ini masuk CNN. Insiden ini yang membuatkan gusti jadi mainstream. Insiden ini yang buatkan budak-budak kat sekolah aku cerita pasal gusti je. Sejak dari itu budak-budak kat sekolah bagi middle finger tak kira bila. Sejak dari itu budak-budak buat DX punya crotch chop masa hari sukan.

Ramai kata yang gusti dah tak popular sangat sejak pemergian Stone Cold dan The Rock. Sebab tu masa The Rock datang balik awal tahun ini, timeline Twitter aku tiba-tiba penuh orang cerita pasal gusti untuk dua tiga hari. Ramai orang kata kalau nak bagi gusti popular balik, kena ada Stone Cold generasi ini. Dan bagi aku sebagai peminat gusti sepanjang hayat, CM Punk adalah orang yang kami nanti-nantikan. Dia lebih bagus daripada Stone Cold.

Anyway, aku tulis ni pasal nak cakap pasal CM Punk sebenarnya. Dah merapu panjang lak. Esok lusa la aku cerita. Pasal kalau nak cerita pasal Punk memang panjang gila. Aku tulis sikit la macam mana character CM Punk untuk pembaca yang tak tahu. Terutamanya perbandingannya dengan Stone Cold.

Watak CM Punk adalah lebih kurang dengan watak Stone Cold yang anti-authority. Bezanya, Stone Cold minum beer setiap kali dia muncul. CM Punk seorang straight edge. In-ring skill Stone Cold pula terpaksa dikurangkan sejak tengkuknya patah akibat piledriver daripada Owen Hart masa Summer Slam 97. In-Ring skill CM Punk pula adalah antara yang terbaik dalam WWE hari ini. Mic skill pula? Mic skill CM Punk 10 kali lebih bagus daripada Stone Cold. Mic Skill CM Punk aku rasakan adalah sama taraf dengan Chris Jericho. Dan aku rate mic skill Jericho lebih tinggi daripada Mic skill The Rock.

Charisma pula? Well, kalau korang tengok Money In The Bank punya pay per view hari itu, korang akan taulah bertapa tingginya karisma CM Punk. Sepanjang hayat aku tengok gusti, sorakan penonton pada CM Punk masa Money In The Bank hari itu adalah yang kedua terkuat aku pernah dengar (yang pertama sorakan penonton Calgary kepada Bret Hart semasa Canadian Stampede 97).

Nak perlu aku terangkan lagi pasal CM Punk? Jangan risau. Esok lusa aku tulis lagi.

Lama tak ada update

2011-08-01T00:57:00.002+08:00

Sudah lama tak menghapdet blog. Macam-macam benda yang dah jadi. Movie yang paling aku tunggu (Green Lantern) dah lama keluar dan jadi sangat-sangat mengecewakan. Comic-con pun dah selesai. Wrestling pula dah start new golden age.

Sebab utama aku lama tak update blog ialah pasal aku sibuk siapkan novel pertama aku yang aku baru sahaja hantar manuskrip penuh kepada Buku Fixi dalam dua tiga hari lepas. Judul dan tema dia, nanti dah dekat-dekat nak launch aku bagitahu la. Insyaallah keluar dalam bulan Oktober ataupun November kot. Let's just say memang sesuai la kalau keluar time Halloween.

Novel yang dah siap ni bukanlah novel pertama yang aku propose kat Fixi. Novel pertama tu belum siap lagi. Aku hold dulu novel tu untuk siapkan novel kedua ni. Aku start tulis masa awal bulan Mei hari tu. Kiranya ambil masa tiga bulan jugalah dari start tulis ayat pertama sampai masa aku klik butang send kat email Buku Fixi.

Final word counts (unless ada kena edit nanti) adalah 53,128 patah perkataan. Tu pun ambil tiga bulan. Sebab tu aku respek gila orang yang boleh siap buat NaNoWriMo. Aku try tiga kali sebelum ni tak pernah siap.

So harap-harapnya bulan 10 nanti bolehlah aku potong item pertama ("get published") dalam list "Things to do before I die" aku.

OK, cerita gusti pulak.

On second thought, bagi aku buat entri lain untuk cerita pasal gusti.

The Best Promo In Rasslin' Since 1997

2011-06-29T00:57:00.002+08:00

I'm still mesmerised after watching Monday Night RAW which just finished over an hour ago here. It doesn't matter how the show goes. What important is the last 10 minutes of the show. CM Punk made the best promo I've ever seen ever since Bret Hart's heel turn way back in 1997.

Hell, after watching the show, I just have to watch the promo again on youtube. Besides, all instance of the word "ass" was censored when I watch it on TV.

Here is the video:

Or if you don't feel like watching it (seriously, you should watch it), you can read the full transcribe at HeymanHustle.

So here is a little history for those who don't follow WWE closely in the recent years.

CM Punk's contract is ending on 17 July which will also be the date for Money In The Bank pay-per-view where he will face John Cena for the title. As far as most people knows, Punk is not signing a new contract. If he does, well, that is some well kept secret. No one on the internet knows about it.

So the current storyline is, Punk made a promise that he will beat Cena for the title and he will take the belt away from the company with him.

Anyone that knows Punk during his Ring Of Honor run might be familiar with this angle. CM Punk was the ROH world champion at the time when he signed with the WWE. So it was a total shock when Punk won his last match at ROH. So then he started to threaten to bring the title over to WWE which start the "Summer of Punk" which probably is the best angle on ROH.

I'm not gonna talk about the speculation for Money In The Bank pay-per-view. That is for another post.

Let's just talk about the promo.

He started off by verbally shitting on Cena being another politician backstage. Then he talked shit on Hulk Hogan and The Rock (which he refered to as Dwayne). Remember, at this time, Hogan is working for TNA. You just almost never see any wrestler mentioning the competition in WWE.

Then he proceed by using the W-word. Yes, he said "wrestler". A word that is forbidden in WWE. I know that a few others already used the word in the recent months but stil...

Then he went on talking about he is Paul Heyman's guy. Just like Brock Lesnar. Another two guys that are no longer with the company.

Then he poured his frustration with the company. But this is no normal promo. This is what most of the fans are thinking. Then he even shit on the fans that are actually cheering him. Typical heel tactic, sure, but this time it feels different.

Then he followed that up by mentioning New Japan Pro Wrestling and Ring Of Honor. Holy hell. You almost never see on WWE TV, anyone, even acknowledging the competitions. Maybe once in a blue moon, they made a reference on other promotion (like during the attitude era when Vince McMahon said "I rather join WCW then join DX") but mentioning two different competitions? Wow.

So at this moment I thought, how could this get any better? Punk waved to the camera and said hi to Colt Cabana.

Next, he shit on Vince McMahon and everyone in the power including John Laurinaitis ("douchebag yes man") and the McMahon family ("idiotic daugher") as well as Triple H ("doofus son-in-law").

When he started shitting on Vince McMahon himslef, the microphone was cut off.

I continued staring at the TV even after the show ended.

Holy fuck, this shit is awesome. This is THE wrestling moment of this era. If WWE plays this nicely, they will get another Austin 3:16.

I don't know whether Punk renews his contract or not. I hope he does. I really, fucking do.

It is in moment like this that I'm glad that I am a rasslin' fan.

Awak comel tapi...

2011-06-21T17:32:00.001+08:00

...awak dengar Bieber, tengok Twilight, dan percaya astrologi.

Tiga-tiga tu memang major turn off. Kalau suka satu aku masih boleh tolerate lagi. Kalau tiga-tiga, memang turn off la.

Hehe. Sebenarnya saja je buka topik ni. Pasal ada member (who shall remained unnamed) yang selama ini mengutuk Bieber tiba-tiba mengaku dengar lagu Bieber.

Tapi kau bukan gay ke? Kau mesti tengok Twilight dengan dengar Bieber. Pasal kau gay.

Troll seekor ni dah lapar. First of all, apa kena mengena gay dengan Twilight dengan Bieber? Kalau kau tengok Twilight tak bermaksud kau gay. Cuma bermaksud kau ada bad taste in movie. Kau dengar Bieber tak bermaksud kau gay. Cuma bermaksud kau dengar muzik yang aku despise. I mean, Freddie Mercury is gay and he is the best - and one of the most badass - singer in history.

Lagi satu turn off, orang yang type "f**k" instead of "fuck". Ok, not really a turn off tapi major pet peeve. Kau duduk atas moral high horse kau, mencarut tapi pura-pura tak mencarut. Aku boleh faham kalau kau tulis untuk publication yang memang tak benarkan mencarut. Then again, kenapa kau tak pilih perkataan lain je?

OK, aku tengah bosan.

Saja ambik 10 minutes break jap merepek kat blog.

Whatever. I'll go f**k myself now. I mean, go fuck myself.

Give me liberty or give me free internet porn

2011-06-18T20:34:00.002+08:00

It is funny that most people that is making noises about the government's banning of file-sharing sites are the same ones that did not even vote during the last general election. I'm talking about all of them of course. These are people that I personally know.

It is funny seeing how you guys bitch about BN and saying how PKR should take over when you don't even bother to register to vote.

I know that some of you did not vote because you think that both BN and PKR are equally shitty (they are). I'm not talking about you guys. I'm talking about those that cursed like a sailor when BN won the last election yet they just sit home playing with their balls on election day.

Me? I still haven't decided how - or even if - I'm going to vote the coming election. Both sides are equally shitty. If I'm gonna vote in the election, I'll vote for the one that stinks less.

Blackest Night

2011-06-18T18:27:00.002+08:00

In brightest day, in blackest night

No evil shall escape my sight

Take this stupid ring and do what is right

Stick it up your ass and shut it tight

I gotta give credit to the whoever responsible for making the trailer for Green Lantern. Seriously. That person should get a medal or something. Never before a movie trailer made me really wanted to go see a movie. Except for Watchmen.

So how was the movie itself? To say that the movie is disappointing is an understatement. I've never been disappointed at a movie ever since Matrix Revolution.

Green Lantern is boring the same way that Ang Lee's Hulk is boring. It took forever for anything exciting to happen. Once we got there, the movie ended before shifting into the 3rd gear.

Fuck Green Lantern. If you haven't seen Green Lantern and X-Men: First Class; and you can only pick one to watch, watch X-Men. Watch it twice even. And this is coming from a DC fanboy.

Impian Separuh Dekad Yang Lalu (Hampir) Tercapai

2011-06-03T21:21:00.004+08:00

OK, dah berkurun aku tak tulis belog. Bukan apa, sekarang memang aku banyak merepek di Twitter sahaja. Aku tulis entri ini pun pasal hendak take a break kejap dari projek aku sekarang. Projek apa? Aku tengah tulis 2 buku untuk Fixi. Cerita pasal apa? Tunggu siap dulu nanti aku ceritalah. Dalam lebih kurang sebulan lagi mungkin siap manuskrip yang pertama.

Aku dapat gig ini pun dari Twitter juga. Bos Fixi - Amir Muhammad (yang buat filem Lelaki Komunis Terakhir) - baru melancarkan publishing house ini awal tahun ini. Awal tahun hari itu dia ada menuit minta siapa-siapa yang berminat untuk menulis novel supaya menghantar email kepada Fixi. Temanya urban dan kontemporari. Bahasa tidak perlu guna bahasa DBP. Malahan bahasa slanga dan celupar lagi digalakkan. Kalau berminat hendak hantar cerita, rujuk guideline ini.

By the way, Fixi sangat-sangat perlukan penulis wanita. Setakat ni majoriti semua batang je. Baru seorang sahaja penulis wanita.

Anyway, kembali kepada tajuk entri. Kalau tak silap aku, aku mula menulis dalam tahun 2005 sejak aku mula membaca Y: The Last Man karya Brian K. Vaughan dan Pia Guerra. Tapi kebanyakkannya tulis buat syok sendiri dan merepek di blog lama aku dulu. Kemudian, semakin banyak aku membaca komik-komik keluaran Vertigo, semakin aku berminat untuk menjadi penulis. Jadi aku baca nasihat-nasihat daripada penulis-penulis kegemaran aku terutamanya Neil Gaiman dan Brian K. Vaughan.

Brian K. Vaughan ada tulis dahulu (aku tak ingat exact quote dia. Ni dari memori je) yang jika anda hendak jadi penulis, 10 ribu muka surat pertama yang pertama adalah sampah. Muka surat ke-10,001 baru akan ada orang nak tengok. Jadi, masa aku hantar sinopsis dan 2 chapter pertama pada Fixi tu, rasa-rasanya memang tulisan aku muka surat yang ke-10,001.

Gila stim masa aku baca email Amir bila dia kata dia interested dengan idea aku. Esoknya jumpa, sembang-sembang kejap, dan akhirnya impian aku sejak dari kali pertama aku menyelak muka depan Y: The Last Man itu hampir tercapai.

So, nantikanlah buku aku keluar. Kalau ikutkan flow aku tulis sekarang ni, mungkin masa Raya nanti akan dilancarkan.

The Godbook Controversy

2011-04-29T19:57:00.001+08:00

I've been avoiding tournament for a very long time. Sure, I've entered some GP KL in the early part of last decade, but every time, just for fun. I've never entered as a Spike. For a long time, I've always been a Johnny.

Then, as most people, I've left Magic when Mirrodin was released; but not for the same reason as everybody else. No, I did not leave Magic because of Affinity's dominance. I've never been a tourney player. I've never cared about the metagame. My DCI card is mostly used for prerelease. No. I quit because everyone on my playgroup quit. We came back for a short while during Time Spiral block but then everyone quit again for the same reason.

Then some time last year, Edzree and I decided to get back into Magic. I can't remember who initiated first, but when Scars of Mirrodin was released, suddenly we're magic nerds once again. Not just any magic nerd; we've decided to become Spike. So for the first time since Mihara won the 2006 World Championship, we watched the tourney telecast. The 2010 World Championship which was won by Guillaume Matignon, defeating his best friend Guillaume Wafo-Tapa in the final.

Anyway, it took a while for us to start playing competitive Magic seriously - which we do almost exclusively on Magic Online; now with Azrul and Onny joining us as well.

In one week time is the prerelease for the highly anticipated New Phyrexia expansion. Of course, this does not happen without controversy. The godbook for New Phyrexia containing the spoiler for the full set was leaked a month early. Of course, as a player, we (mostly) are all happy with this outcome. More time to prepare, more time to playtest.

So this morning, I woke up to find that Wizards has released a statement regarding the leak. Four players are now banned, including the World champion and the runner-up.

Basically, Matignon was given the godbook in order to review the expansion for a magazine. He gave it to Wafo-Tapa, who gave it to another guy, who gave it to another guy, who leaked it for the whole world.

So here's the problem.

Why are certain players given this early information regarding an upcoming set? Wouldn't it give them the head start over other players in terms of preparations? I'm not saying that Guillaume Matignon's world title is due to his early knowledge of the then newly released Scars of Mirrodin but it made you wonder how many other top players are given the godbook in advance. According to this article, Paulo Vitor Damo da Rosa used to received a .txt spoiler when he was writing for a magazine as well.

I'm not questioning the other issues here. I'm just questioning how is this fair to the other players when some of the top guys are given 2-3 weeks head start over the others?

I'll surely miss seeing both Gillaumes (especially Wafo-Tapa) on the tournament scene though. They are both great players regardless.

I'll just wait for what other pros think about this.

Seriously, Aku Betul-betul Tak Ingat

2011-04-05T19:19:00.004+08:00

Disertakan di bawah adalah perbualanku menerusi YM bersama rakanku yang tidak mahu dikenali. Maka dengan itu aku menukar nama beliau kepada Dickbrain (although ada antara anda yang boleh teka dia siapa).

Semasa perbualan ini bermula, status YM ku berbunyi "What's the easiest way to forget something?". Aku tak tahu bila aku tulis status tu. Aku juga tak ingat apa yang aku cuba nak lupakan. Dan aku tak ingat macam mana aku lupakan whatever it is yang aku cuba nak lupakan. This looks like a job for Walter Bishop.

Walaupun aku selalu berpura-pura lupa, memori aku sebenarnya adalah agak baik kecuali aku agak susah nak ingat muka dan nama orang. Tapi benda lain memang aku selalu ingat. Jadi memang agak peliklah aku tak ingat benda ni. Dan tidak ada orang lain yang guna komputer aku hari ni.

Anyway, perbualan merepek jauh lari dari topik. Aku copy paste semua je. Cuma tukar nama tuan punya diri.

Dickbrain: jump tru a 32 floor??

/moi: hmmm?

Dickbrain: u ask how to forget sumthg

Dickbrain: lol

/moi: bila aku tanya?

Dickbrain: status ko

/moi: wha?

/moi: ....

/moi: bila masa aku tulis ni?

Dickbrain: nuff said

Dickbrain: wassup?

Dickbrain: whats with the status?

/moi: no seriously

Dickbrain: igt balik psl cinta mu ngan mija?

/moi: tak ingat aku tulis bila

/moi: dan tak ingat apa yg aku cuba nak lupa

You have declined the file sent by Dickbrain.

/moi: tau

/moi: tapi aku tak ingat bila aku buat status tu

Dickbrain: lol

/moi: dan sebab apa

Dickbrain: hahahaha

Dickbrain: siot

/moi: fuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Dickbrain: then, u shud remove ur status

/moi: what did i do to forget it?

/moi: whatever it is

Dickbrain: why fu?

Dickbrain: lol

Dickbrain: hahahahha

Dickbrain: ko hantuk dinding kot

Dickbrain: lol

Dickbrain: tu lupa terus

/moi: nah

/moi: aku rasa kepala takde bengkak

/moi: shit

/moi: this is x-files shit right here

Dickbrain: then, someone rape u and stole ur memory

Dickbrain: ?

Dickbrain: maybe green alien

/moi: money is all there

/moi: anus not hurt

Dickbrain: of course

Dickbrain: coz is 2 inch ma

Dickbrain: mana rasa

Dickbrain: mcm masuk lidi

/moi: even 1 inch sure can rasa one

Dickbrain: nah

Dickbrain: u dh not virgin anymore

Dickbrain: so x rasa la

Dickbrain: kalo virgin lg

Dickbrain: mcm aku

Dickbrain: lain citer

/moi: if using that conclusion

/moi: woman cannot feel anything after fuck first time

Dickbrain: lol

Dickbrain: maybe

/moi: fuck this

/moi: im gonna blog

Dickbrain: hahahah

Dickbrain: thats another x-file thingie man

/moi: this is some mysterious shit right here

Dickbrain: tut-tut-tut

Dickbrain: nah, nah, nah, nah

/moi: tong teneng teneng

Dickbrain: lol

Dickbrain: hahahaha

/moi: we're not high right now, are we?

Dickbrain: lol

Dickbrain: hahahaha

/moi: this is a kind of conversation that stone came out with

Dickbrain: maybe becoz of the air we breath la bro

/moi: *stoner

Dickbrain: uknow

Dickbrain: the shit happen in japan

Dickbrain: radioactive shit

Dickbrain: so

Dickbrain: maybe it affect our logic

Dickbrain: maybe la

Dickbrain: lol

/moi: nah

/moi: i blame it on cthulhu

/moi:

Dickbrain: or, maybe the ciggarate company put weed on our ciggie

/moi: was i tentacle raped or something?

/moi: why would they?

Dickbrain: thats more logical compare to ur cthulu bullshit crap whatnot

/moi: they would profit more if they sell actual weed

Dickbrain: hahahahah

Dickbrain: they cant

/moi:

/moi: dont let cthulhu hear that

Dickbrain: i wont be a conspiracy if they tell the truth

Dickbrain: `it

/moi: he'll rape you in your sleep

Dickbrain: nah

Dickbrain: my room is tentacle free

/moi: he has like, >9000 tentacles

Dickbrain: ive made a deal with him already

/moi: and not including his dick

Dickbrain: and use u as the compensation cost

Dickbrain: lol

Dickbrain: and,

Dickbrain: he like ur ass better than mine

/moi: been there

/moi: done that

/moi: cthulhu is meh

Dickbrain: shuuu

/moi: yog-sothoth is better

/moi: lol

Dickbrain: nnt dia dgr

/moi: fuck it

Dickbrain: lol

/moi: im gonna copy pasta everything into the blog

Dickbrain: hahahaha

Dickbrain: fuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Dickbrain: dude

Dickbrain: erase my name la bro

Dickbrain: nnt chutlu nmpk

Dickbrain: dia rape aku nnt

/moi: takpe

Dickbrain: lol

/moi: baca doa malam2

Dickbrain: hahahahah

Dickbrain: u asshole

/moi: ingat doa ni

/moi: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

Dickbrain: lol

Dickbrain: i aint fall with ur chutlu shit

Dickbrain: dosa

Dickbrain: masuk neraka tau

/moi: macam la ko ahli syurga

Dickbrain: at least aku x bawah sgt

/moi: alang2 menyeluk pekasam

Dickbrain: hahahahah

/moi: biar sampai ke lantai neraka

Dickbrain: ramai sgt org aku x suka kt tgkt bwah

Dickbrain: btw bro

Dickbrain: ko tgk tak ultimate fighter?

/moi: tgk kat rumah lu je la

Dickbrain: bila ko tgk?

/moi: jeng3

Dickbrain: damn

/moi: the eye always see

Dickbrain: i need to change my locks

Dickbrain: cant wait for 30th apr

/moi: your lock is useless

/moi: i have sauron's eye

/moi: and the eye of thundera

Dickbrain: later on, i will get a big ass poking device

Dickbrain: and poke ur eyes

Dickbrain: couture lawan machida siot

/moi: eye poking is illegal

Dickbrain: im not in UFC dude

Dickbrain: so, suck em up

/moi:

/moi: should i spit or swallow?

Dickbrain: what?

Dickbrain: whats wrong with u dude?

/moi: you told me to suck

Dickbrain: thou shall never suck ur frend somthing2

Dickbrain: x pernah bukak buku the bro's code?

/moi: that's a different bible from the one i read

/moi: this one says

/moi: and lo for when thy bro sayeth to thee to sucketh, thou shalt ask "shalt i spitteth or swalloweth"

Jangan Lupa Tengok Gusti Malam Ni

2011-04-05T16:08:00.003+08:00

Kepada peminat-peminat gusti, jangan lupa tengok RAW malam ni. Kenapa? Sebab malam ni adalah penampilan pertama Sin Cara (a.k.a Mistico). Lagipun ini RAW pertama selepas Wrestlemania (aku belum tengok lagi Wrestlemania jadi aku taknak komen dulu)

Apakah signifikannya penampilan Sin Cara?

Pertama. Aku bukanlah peminat besar Lucha Libre, tetapi beliau adalah luchador yang paling aku minati. Dia memang ada dalam senarai top 5 luchadores aku. Malah dia ada dalam aku punya senarai top 20 ahli gusti terbaik hari ini.

Kedua. Ahli gusti lain yang baru tandatangan kontrak bersama WWE akan dihantar ke Florida Championship Wrestling (FCW) dahulu untuk belajar WWE-style. Tidak kiralah siapa pun melainkan jika nama anda cukup besar seperti Goldberg ataupun Sting. Daniel Bryan kena hantar ke sana selama setahun lebih (rasanyalah) sebelum penampilan pertamanya di televisyen. Malahan Tyler Black dan (jika tak salah aku) Amazing Kong kini berada di FCW.

Disebabkan Sin Cara tidak dihantar ke FCW menunjukkan yang WWE memang berancang untuk menggunakannya dalam jalan cerita utama.

Ketiga. WWE sedang cuba untuk menembusi pasaran Mexico. Disebabkan itulah Alberto Del Rio menang Royal Rumble tahun ini kini adalah salah seorang pencabar utama untuk tali pinggang heavyweight dunia. Tambahan lagi dengan usia Rey Mysterio yang semakin meningkat (dan kecedaraan lutut yang asyik berulang), WWE memang ingin menggunakan Sin Cara sebagai pengganti Mysterio.

Jadi peminat gusti semua jangan lupa tonton RAW malam ni.

Mungkin aku lebih gemarkan nama Mistico daripada Sin Cara tetapi itu bukanlah isu utama. Aku cuma berharap Sin Cara mengekalkan La Mistica sebagai gerakan penyudahnya.

The Art of Fake Fighting III

2011-03-15T17:05:00.002+08:00

If TNA is dying before, it certainly is dead right now. I stopped giving a crap about TNA a long time ago. There are many reason for why TNA sucks but that would require a totally separate blog post for it. In short, they have the some of the best talents in the business but kept on pushing WWE has beens and recycling old, shitty storylines. They have the two best former ROH champion (Joe and Wolfe) in their roster but kept on pushing WWE (and WCW) rejects to carry the company.

I stopped giving a shit about TNA a long time ago so this news is a few days late. Basically, once again, Jeff Hardy fucked up. He showed up for his match against Sting at a Victory Road pay-per-view highly intoxicated - for a main event nonetheless - and the match has to be ended in under two minutes. The crowd chanted bullshit and Sting agreed.

Now, this is 2011. The only people that care about TNA at this point are the hardcore TNA fans. With this pay-per-view, I don't think even there is any saving TNA. This is their Bash at the Beach 2000*. The pay-per-view that made the fan leaving saying, "fuck this shit."

*Bash at the Beach 2000 was a WCW pay-per-view where Jeff Jarrett lied down in the middle of the ring and let Hogan pin him for the WCW title. This was what put the final coffin to the downfall of WCW to the hand of WWF. It's funny that some of the decision makers are the same bunch of people in both event.

Sting must be regretting his decision to turn down WWE's offer now. He had the chance to face 'Taker at Wrestlemania. Instead he faced the most overrated wrestler (yes, Hardy is more overrated than Cena) today who can't even stay sober for match. I mean, the only thing Jeff Hardy can do is prove the law of gravity

Anyway, this is the main event from Victory Road:

Does this makes me an asshole?

2011-03-11T19:39:00.003+08:00

Well, I know I am an asshole, but does it make me a bigger asshole if the first thing that came to my mind when I heard about the earthquake in Japan is, "damn, I want to watch another KENTA vs Marufuji first."

This is why I'm glad I didn't watch Oscar

2011-02-28T12:57:00.003+08:00

Because otherwise I would've jammed a pencil into my ears.

Know your role and shut your mouth

2011-02-16T00:28:00.003+08:00

The actual post about the return of The Rock will be posted later (if I feel like writing it).

Random act of Villainy I

2011-02-11T00:52:00.003+08:00

Let me start this post with a tweet from my good friend/ archenemy Numloque. (What? A guy can't be a friend and enemy at the same time?)

Which then brings us to the link. Go ahead, read it first. shouldn't take long.

[Lights cigarette]

[Open freezer]

[Counts dead bodies]

Oh, done? Okay, let's get to what I want to talk about.

This is a good time to be a supervillain. The police is in our side. Or it could be that the cops are on the payroll of whichever supervillain that is running Columbia, Tennessee. I missed a couple of meeting, so I don't know who the the evil lord of that town.

Now that my identity as a supervillain has been revealed by Numloque, I shall now do what every great supervillain do - tell people about my elaborated schemes just before I do it.

My next act villainy shall be performed by my minions tomorrow morning. We shall be driving 30 km/h on the fast lane, causing heavy traffic and making you late for work. TRY AND STOP ME NOW!! *Evil laugh*

The Art of Fake Fighting I

2011-02-07T04:08:00.001+08:00

This would be a recurring series where I talk about my love for pro wrestling.

I'm a fan of pro wrestling. This fact is constant ever since I was a little kid. My interest in other sports and other form of entertainments come always and go. But after all these years, I am still a wrestling fan.

My theory is that I easily got bored by games that stay the same over a period of time. Organised sports still follow the same set of rule which hardly changes. I'm not saying every sports should be Calvinball, but some changes here and there to keep the game fresh would be nice.

There are a finite ways to kick a ball in a football game. Once you've watched 100 football match for example, you've watched them all. Plus, I have no brand loyalty. Sports team, political party, I don't give two shits. So maybe that's why I'm not too attached to any particular sports.

So how about pro wrestling then? Why am I still watching it to this day. When I'm talking about pro wrestling, you might assume I'm going to talk only about WWE. Let me assure you that my knowledge went way beyond the E. Let's take a look.

First thing first, let's not argue whether pro wrestling is a sport or not. I'm not going to convince you either way. Also, screaming wrestling is fake is like saying the sun is hot.

Let's take a look at the rule. Sure, a wrestling match basically ends in four ways - pinfall, submission, disqualification, or countout. But there are endless different variations and new types of matches are innovated every now and then. Even when we take a look at the basic one on one match, the rule differs from place to place, like a piledriver is an immediate disqualification in lucha libre, or the 20 count countout in Japan. So even during the shitty periods, there will still be fresh entertaining matches. But this is shit you already know.

Many of the arguments against wrestling is the "fake" aspect of it. Yeah, sure, it's "fake". But can you fake gravity? Sure, it's "fake" but it still hurts. The legendary Mitsuharu Misawa - probably the best pro wrestler ever - even died in the middle of the ring. Owen Hart's tragic death was due to a stunt that went wrong. Misawa died from an actual wrestling move. Anyway, Misawa deserves a blog post just for him.

Moving on. Wrestling styles also has many different variations. Even within a single entity like the WWE. And there are a lot more wrestlers outside the WWE. Anyone still watching WWE today? Are you impressed when you see Gabriel's 450 Splash? Well, Jack Evans can do a 630. Dragon Kid can do a frontflip hurracaranna. Pac can do a Shooting Star Senton. Ricochet can do a double rotation moonsault. There are high flying lucha libre, there are strong style puroresu, there are hardcore garbage wrestling, there are even comedic wrestling.

Each wrestling promotion gives a different product. WWE is focusing on the entertainment aspect. TNA is doing a shitty WCW-clone (and wasting the talents they have) ROH is focusing on in ring actions. DDT is a comedy promotion with blowup dolls, invisible wrestler, even little girls. (DDT is my current favourite promotion by the way)

In short, the reason I love pro wrestling is that it always keeps on evolving. Jake Robert invented DDT. Not there are dozens of DDT variants. Jushin Liger invented Shooting Star Press, Pac innovated the Shooting Star Senton. There will always be innovations to keep pro wrestling fresh. Even the shitty matches usually fall into the "it's so bad it's good" category.

I mean, where else can you find a blowup doll in other sports?

Creatures from the depth of hell

2011-02-01T12:56:00.000+08:00

I hate roaches. Really hate roaches. You wouldn't believe how much I hate roaches. Think of someone or something that you hate the most. I hate roaches more than that. I hate roaches more than vegetarians hate Ted Nugent. I hate roaches more than Hitler hates the Jews. I hate roaches more than Twilight. Okay, the last one is not true. I rather have cancer than watch Twilight (which is a topic for another time).

If I survive a nuclear holocaust, I would DIY a bunch of flamethrowers and send these creatures back to the hell from whence they came. And it still won't matter because there will be more of these fuckers. A lot more.

So why the rant? I just found my box of old comic books and found my copy of Origin #1 was eaten by roaches. That shit is worth 40 dollars today.

Kenapa Tuhan tak approve friend request aku?

2011-01-28T14:27:00.000+08:00

Pernah tak tengok status Facebook seperti ini - "Ya Allah, tolonglah permudahkan breast implant aku hari ini"? Ataupun "Oh Tuhan, tolonglah bagi kanser kepada so and so." Okay, mungkin bukan macam tu, tapi secara ringkasnya, orang yang berdoa di status Facebook.

Aku tak ada contoh terbaru tapi memang selalu aku nampak di Facebook. Even from people that are close to me. It annoys the shit out of me. Berdoa kat Facebook lagi cepat sampai kat Tuhan ke?

Just my two cents. Nothing much. Just a little pet peeve of mine. Keep thy religion to thyself.

Kredit kepada englishmalay yang bagi idea untuk entri blog ini. Ikut dia di Twitter kalau anda ada akaun twitter. One of the funniest man in Twitterjaya.

Fake Football

2011-01-24T10:47:00.000+08:00

There is a rumour going on that Vince McMahon is in negotiation to buy Newcastle. This opens up a tons of possibility for entertainment.

"I was hoping football getting a lil more aggressive. I mean, the drama is all there already" -Ed

I haven't written that I am a big fan of pro wrestling and have not even a slightest interest in football. But that is a story for another time. In fact, I have a post about pro wrestling already halfway done. What I am going to talk about is how football will look like when you put pro wrestling elements into it.

First of all, in football there is already a "if the referee didn't see it, it did not happen" rule. All it needs is for the manager or teammates to distract the referee while you illegally beat the shit out of the opposing player.

"He shoots. GOOOAALLL. Oh no, the referee got his back turned. Alex Ferguson is distracting the referee with full on nudity"

You know what, let me just tell the story through hypothetical commentaries.

"Nice pass there. This could be it. The defender missed the tackle. Could it be? Could it be? OH MY GOD! A chair shot right to the face. Nasty, nasty chair shot. Wait, they are not done. The goalkeeper climbed the goal post. What is he going to do now? He flipped off the crowd and, and, a moonsault double foot stomp to the face. This one definitely a red card but unfortunately the referee is still out from the outside interference earlier by Steven Gerrard. What else could go wrong I wond - OH NO. The light just went out. And that's, that is Chelsea's theme song. Frank Lampard is coming to the field from the audience. He got a baseball bat with him."

Yeah, I might watch football if these kind of things happen.

Mmmmm. Cheese

2011-01-23T19:49:00.000+08:00

A conversation between yours truly and Signither.

P.S. - I purposely replace the word about with aboot in my daily life (except in this blog, which I will try to be as grammar nazi as possible). It started of as an inside joke which I have forgotten how it all began. I know it's a Canadian joke but there was a different origin between my friend circle.

Me no am Rexxarro

2011-01-14T20:49:00.000+08:00

A friend once told me that I hardly write anything whenever I'm happy and even if I did, it sucked horribly. He then proceeded with wishing me for my misery so he has something to read. So I just told him that if all he looked forward in his daily routine is my blog, then I felt sorry for his miserable life. All I did was linking videos and cursing people. Which then of course, he proceeded by giving me the finger.

There is however some truth to that statement. So the fact that I'm writing again must mean I'm in misery, is it? Not so much. Although I am not totally happy either.

Anyway, I've decided to start blogging again. Actually I've made this decision a dew weeks ago when I opened up this blog. Everything there is in Bizarro speak though. At first I thought of using that blog exclusively but I soon realised that Bizarro speak is hard and really confusing even to myself.

A little introduction first. I've been blogging since 2005 or 2006 under different persona but decided to call it quit some time last year, which at the same time, retiring that character. The Rexxarro character will be different from all my previous incarnations. How different? To be honest, I haven't decided yet. I started the old character by emulating Maddox and this one started of as a Bizarro. So maybe you will see the insane part of me (more than usual).

One of the recurring elements from my old blog is the top ten list. This time around, I've decided to make a separate blog for it. Nothing is there right now though. I'm also planning on experimenting with demotivational posters at this blog. There are already thousands of demotivational posters on the web so I'm planning on doing a malay version there. Other than that, I will be contributing on Gamer Malaya even though I'm hardly a gamer anymore.

So enough with the intro for now. No promise how often I will update the blog since I mostly spend my time on twitter. But rest assure, there will be updates soon.

Oh, before I forget, the obligatory cursing ration for the day: shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, tits.

You guys take care. Have a great day.